New Taze First Policy Urged

The News: The National Association of Police Organizations (NAPO) announced a new Taze First policy, today. Under the new policy, officers will routinely taze suspects first prior to asking questions or investigating complaints. "This new policy will facilitate and protect officers in the discharge of their duties, by insuring that civilian contactees are rendered into a complaint and forthcoming state of mind, " NAPO president, Tim T. Knee, said. Knee explained that since taser jolts are considered "non-lethal" and cause only "safe, temporary discomfort", there is no reason not to use such a harmless procedure in light of the benefits to safe and effective law enforcement.

The announcement came in the wake of the much publicised arrest of Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates, Jr. Gates was arrested this weekend on his own front porch on the basis of an anonymous tip that a black man was trying to force open the front door. Gates was in fact trying to unjam the lock. Once inside, police showed up on his front porch and demanded that he come outside. Gates in turn demanded their badge numbers. He stepped outside showed them his identification and was immediately arrested on a charge of being "tumultous". Gates has since accused the Cambridge police of racist profiling. Charges were later dismissed and Gates was released from custody with apologies for the regrettable misunderstanding.

"None of this would have happened," Knee said, "if Gates had been tazered first and questioned second."